Farmers Go to the Movies

An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The ticket girl said, "Sir, what is on your shoulders?"

Old farmer said, "That's my pet chicken, Chuckie. Wherever I go, Chuckie goes."

"Sorry, sir," said the ticket girl, "We can not let the animals go to the cinema. Even the pet chicken."

Old farmer went to a quiet place and insert cock into his pants. He returned to the ticket booth, bought a ticket and entered the theater. He sat next to two emergency room nurses named Mildred and Marge. This movie started and the chicken began to squirm. The old farmer opening the zipper his pants so Chuckie could remove his head and watching movies.

"Marge," Mildred whispered.

"What?" Marge said.

"I think the person next to me is obscene."

"What makes you think so?" Marge asked.

"He unzipped his pants and goods out," whispered Mildred.

"Well, do not worry about it," said Marge, "For us it's not the stuff that we've never seen before."

"Yes," said Mildred, "But this one is eating my popcorn !"

Changing New Password

Another Adult Humour Story :

A husband and wife are trying to set a new password for their computer. 

The husband said, "Just type 'my sex tool'," 

The wife laughed out loud because on the computer screen says,

"Error.. Length is not enough."

The story of Tarzan and Jane

Here again.. Another Adult Humour Story :

One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. He is very attracted to him and during the questions about his life she asked him if he successful have sex.

"What's that?" he asked.

Jane explained to him what sex was and Tarzan said, "Oh, I used a hole in a tree trunk."

"Horrified ...", Jane said, "Tarzan, you did everything wrong. I will show you how to do it correctly."

She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground and opened her legs wide. "Here," he said, "you must put it in here."

Tarzan took off his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave him a hard kick, right in the crotch. Jane rolled around in pain.

Eventually he succeed get up and say, "What the hell did you do that ?!"

"Checking the bees!" said Tarzan.

Birthday Gifts for Rich Wife

Another Adult Humour Story :

There was a man talking to his friend, The man said, "I do not know what to give to my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, he was able to buy whatever he wants. So, I'm confused."

His friend said, "I have an idea. Why do not you create a certificate that says she can earn two hours of great sex, any way she wants. He may be happy!"

So the man did it. The next day his friend asked, "Well, did you take my advice? How is that?"

"She loved it. He jumps, say thank you, kiss my mouth, and ran out the door and yelling me, "I'll be back here in two hours".

(So that means the wife is having "fun" outside)

Clean Before Meets Doctor Content

Couple in Bed

One night, there was a couple are in bed 

and the husband caressing his wife's arm

the wife got up and it says: 

"I'm sorry but I have an appointment with the obstetrician tomorrow and I want to keep it clean." 

Husband, returning to the side of his bed and tried to sleep ... A few minutes later he approached his wife again, she whispered to him: 

"Do you also have an appointment with the dentist tomorrow?"

Extra Large Condoms

A woman walks into a pharmacy and ask if they sell extra large condoms. 

"Yes, we sell it," said the sales assistant, "Do you want to buy it?" 

"No, thank you," she said. "But if you do not mind, I'll wait here for someone who bought it." 

Diary Cruises

Adult humor Story :

A female author while on vacation at sea has been keeping a diary as follows: 

Day one: I have encountered the captain of the ship. 

Day two: The captain invited me to dinner with him at a table, I felt very proud. 

Day three: The ship's captain took me around everywhere, even still brings me to the skipper cabin.

Day four: The captain took me to look around his room and asking an outrageous thing to me; he asked me to make love with him. This behavior did not conform to its identity as a ship's captain. 

Fifth day: He insisted on the establishment persist, saying if I did not agree, he will drown this ship. 

Day six: a beautiful morning. I have managed to save the lives of 700 people.