Humour Story-Surprised Because of Rifles

Another humour story for you :

Beautiful woman Guide, Jhastine, leads a group of travelers reviewing army barracks, 

suddenly heard the voice of a string of gun near there.

Because surprised, Jhastine fallen into the arms of the officer who stood near her.

Mary hastily said with red face:

"Sorry sir, I really was surprised by the sound of  the rifles."

"Ah, okay," said the officer, 

"do you want to see the cannon training?"

Ask for Sports Car Prize

An another humour story :

Sooner A wife will have birthday, she wanted a car that have speed of more than 200 miles per hour as a gift.

He said to her husband: "Birthday present that I wanted this time, when I climbed on top of it, the goods can be moved from number 0 to number 200"

The day has come, 

The wife looks happy but confuse,
she find a chest on the front of the door, 
once she open it, 

There is an electronic scales in it.

:D

Farmers Go to the Movies

An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The ticket girl said, "Sir, what is on your shoulders?"

Old farmer said, "That's my pet chicken, Chuckie. Wherever I go, Chuckie goes."

"Sorry, sir," said the ticket girl, "We can not let the animals go to the cinema. Even the pet chicken."

Old farmer went to a quiet place and insert cock into his pants. He returned to the ticket booth, bought a ticket and entered the theater. He sat next to two emergency room nurses named Mildred and Marge. This movie started and the chicken began to squirm. The old farmer opening the zipper his pants so Chuckie could remove his head and watching movies.

"Marge," Mildred whispered.

"What?" Marge said.

"I think the person next to me is obscene."

"What makes you think so?" Marge asked.

"He unzipped his pants and goods out," whispered Mildred.

"Well, do not worry about it," said Marge, "For us it's not the stuff that we've never seen before."

"Yes," said Mildred, "But this one is eating my popcorn !"

Fart in Restaurant

Paijo was in a restaurant, suddenly he realized his stomach was eager to fart. The music heard in the restaurant was really hard, so Paijo trying to fart while he align it with the rhythm of the music. 

After a few songs with a fart, Paijo begin to feel better. Paijo finished his coffee, and saw that all the people staring at him. 

Then Paijo suddenly remembered that he was listening the music from his ipod's earphones.

Choose Money or Wife

A husband and wife were walk on the streets of a quiet little street,

suddenly from behind wandering out 2 face covered with black cloth, 

while brandishing a knife into the The husband's neck, he said: "Yo, choose yourself, money or wife? "

"Money." The husband said in a voice trembling with shock and fear. 

Robber: "Then, you,  get out of here immediately !, and now leave your wife here!" 

Pass before long, The husband return back again. 

Robber said: " Why are You come back ?" 

The husband : "Oh, all of my money is in my wife's hand."

Due Never Going Home

Husband had not come home a few days, tempered wife and berate. A moment later a wife asking her husband: "If you do not see me for 3 days consecutive, how do you feel?" 

"My feelings is certainly a good one." Replied the husband.

The second day, he really did not see his wife again.

The third day, he still did not see his shadow.

And this situation continues until the seventh day .....

Hehehe ...... all of this was caused because of his battered due to being punched by the wife. After the swelling gradually wilted, he could see a little shadow of his wife from the crevices left eye.

Phone From Patients

Pointing to a coat hanger, doctors shouted to his daughter: "Come !!, quickly give me my medical equipment bag." 

"What is it dad ? What has happened?" asked his daughter half panic. 

"Recently I received a call from a young man, he said, he was tired of life, without me, it feels better to die." 

Tense feelings soon subsided the girl: "I am not worried anymore, because the content of the call was clear, it's acctually for me."

Reason Rejected of Make a Relationship

Another humour story :D

Barry screaming with a hoarse voice: "Oh, dear, why do you reject me?" 

As he frown, his girl said: "My face is bad, I really do not fulfill a relationship with you." 

"You think i am a kind person like that huh?. Though you look bad, I'll still love you! Please do not worry." 

"But ...... but your face turns out worse than me, I can't, I really can't."

Entire Body Feel Bad

A male patient walks into the clinic told the doctor that his whole body feel bad. 

After examining it carefully, the doctor gave him 3 pills with different colors, 

The doctor saying: "Listen carefully, every morning you wake up, first taking the red pill. Remember, take it with a large glass of boiled water that has cooled, and after lunch later, take the blue pill, remember, drinking the warm water in the same volume; at night before going to bed, take the yellow pill, do not forget to drink a large glass of boiled water. "

"Sir, what really happened to me?" the patient asked him a little worried. 

"No problem anything, you just lack of dringking water." 

Recovery for a while

Patient: "Mr.Doctor, You are truly remarkable, only one word alone can cure my depression has-bowel disease over the years."

Psychiatrist: "Ah, the situation is not as simple as that, your depression could this all the time another recurrence."

Patient: "When is the recurrence ?"

Psychiatrist: "Usually by the time the patient has heard the charges that i will explain later."

Forgot Bring Pen When Exam

Time test, a student said to his teacher: "I forgot bring my pen."

Teacher said to be angry: "You really are outrageous. Consider your own thought, if a soldier did not carry guns on the battlefield, if it can still be called patriots?"

The student said: "It certainly is a General."

Army Testing Capabilities

Here it is another humour story, it's funny :D

A Navy admiral was walking on a warship.

Suddenly he saw a soldier who seems still new and doing picket duty.

Seeing the soldiers while the admiral intended to test the ability of the soldier to take action in the case of having an emergency,

he said to a soldier said: "Hi, boy!"

While removing his cap on the deck of the ship, he said: "If this is a bomb, how do you manage it and what action would you take?"

Having seen it for a while, soldiers did not say a word to immediately move forward and kick admiral cap that embroidered with gold into the ocean.

Deliver message to father

In the living room, Dad was talking accompany a guest, the child seems to have something to say.

Seeing this situation The Father said: "Ah, don't secretly, if there is something you want to talk, talk out loud!"

The boy finally said it out loud: "Mom told me to tell Dad, do not ask that guests staying lunch, because the rice runs out !!."

Can not Sleep Because of Debt Maturity

Another Funny Experience Humour Story :

In the Evening,

Michael roll over on the bed, roll to the right and to the left, he can not sleep, his wife asked him why, he said: "3 months ago I had borrowed 200 dollars to Jhonson across the street, tomorrow it's the time, but I do not have the money to pay it. 

"Just because of this you can not sleep huh?" The wife was very surprised. By arbitrarily out of bed, then opened the window, and shouted loudly several times facing the opposite direction of Jhonson's home : "Hi, Jhonson, Tomorrow my husband did not have the money to pay off your debt !!" 

Once finished speaking, he closed the window and said to her husband: "Well, now you must sleep in peace, next turn Jonson who could not sleep, hehehe......"

Backfire From a Teaching

Another Funny Experience Humour Story : 

In Sajastan , central Asia, between Iran and Afghanistan , live a cleric who is very famous linguist. One day he teach his son : "If you want to talk about something, use your brain first. Think carefully, after that, say it in good and true words."

One day in the rainy season, the two were lounging near bonfire in their home. Suddenly a small fire spark splatter to robe woven of silk worn father. it was seen by his son, but he did not say anything. After thinking for a few moments before he opened his mouth,

"Dad, I want to say something, may I ?" he asked.

"If you want to tell the truth, just say it," replied the father.

"It is concerning the truth, " he said.

"Say it Please," the father said. 

He says, "I saw a red hot object."

"What is it ?, " Asked the father.

"A spark of fire on the father's cloak, " he said.

Immediately the father saw the cloak already partially burned.

"Why did not you tell me right away ?!!!,"

The father said. " I have to think before say something, like what you advise me the other day, " his son replied innocently. :D

Ever Life As Bob Sadino

A man has just thrown into prison. There is already a long occupants there that looked old.

The old man said, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You would never believe that I have a life like Bob Sadino.  I am luxurious traveling around the world, has a private yacht, four fine cars, the most beautiful woman, and I eat at all the best restaurants in the world."

The New person then ask, "What happened?"

"One day Bob Sadino reported his credit cards missing!"

Hearing tests

Another Funny Experience :

Because military recruitment that time beyond on my own, then in a relationship with another person I always take the attitude bitter and hostile. 

At the time of the medical tests, the doctor ever asked me with a low voice: "Are you able to read the letters on the wall?" 

By deliberately not happy and I replied: "The letters which one?" 

The doctor said: "Okay, your hearing is normal !"

Felt Phone Left behind in Taxi

Today it rains heavy, I hastily taxi ride back to the hotel. After the come out of the cab, I found that my phone was missing, so no matter when it was still raining hard, I immediately chase the taxi, and shouting: "Sir !, driver !, please stop! Please stop for a while!"

After I ran as far as about 100 meters, I found my left hand was clutching an HP, but at that time the taxi driver also stopped the car, he asked me is there any problem.

I stood in the rain and shouting : "The rain was falling in bushy, Mister, please driving carefully, do not rush!", Then I turned and ran towards the direction of the hotel.

Getting Free ride

Another Fun Story :

A police car stopped in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Morris came out of the car.

Police politely explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park, and could not find his way home.

"Oh Morris", said grandma, "You've been going to that park for over 30 years! So, how could you get lost?"

Leans close to grandma, so that the policeman could not hear, Morris whispered, "I'm not lost ... I'm just too tired to walk back to the house."

Split Because of Roses

A: "I heard that you now have split with Your girl, true?" 

B: "Yes, you're not wrong." 

A: "Why?" 

B: "One day, I had hold her and put her on a bed full of roses ..." 

A: "Well, these actions are very romantic, is not it? 

B: "But the problem is previously I had forgotten to throw the rose thorns."