Choose Money or Wife

A husband and wife were walk on the streets of a quiet little street,

suddenly from behind wandering out 2 face covered with black cloth, 

while brandishing a knife into the The husband's neck, he said: "Yo, choose yourself, money or wife? "

"Money." The husband said in a voice trembling with shock and fear. 

Robber: "Then, you,  get out of here immediately !, and now leave your wife here!" 

Pass before long, The husband return back again. 

Robber said: " Why are You come back ?" 

The husband : "Oh, all of my money is in my wife's hand."

Due Never Going Home

Husband had not come home a few days, tempered wife and berate. A moment later a wife asking her husband: "If you do not see me for 3 days consecutive, how do you feel?" 

"My feelings is certainly a good one." Replied the husband.

The second day, he really did not see his wife again.

The third day, he still did not see his shadow.

And this situation continues until the seventh day .....

Hehehe ...... all of this was caused because of his battered due to being punched by the wife. After the swelling gradually wilted, he could see a little shadow of his wife from the crevices left eye.

Phone From Patients

Pointing to a coat hanger, doctors shouted to his daughter: "Come !!, quickly give me my medical equipment bag." 

"What is it dad ? What has happened?" asked his daughter half panic. 

"Recently I received a call from a young man, he said, he was tired of life, without me, it feels better to die." 

Tense feelings soon subsided the girl: "I am not worried anymore, because the content of the call was clear, it's acctually for me."

Reason Rejected of Make a Relationship

Another humour story :D

Barry screaming with a hoarse voice: "Oh, dear, why do you reject me?" 

As he frown, his girl said: "My face is bad, I really do not fulfill a relationship with you." 

"You think i am a kind person like that huh?. Though you look bad, I'll still love you! Please do not worry." 

"But ...... but your face turns out worse than me, I can't, I really can't."

Entire Body Feel Bad

A male patient walks into the clinic told the doctor that his whole body feel bad. 

After examining it carefully, the doctor gave him 3 pills with different colors, 

The doctor saying: "Listen carefully, every morning you wake up, first taking the red pill. Remember, take it with a large glass of boiled water that has cooled, and after lunch later, take the blue pill, remember, drinking the warm water in the same volume; at night before going to bed, take the yellow pill, do not forget to drink a large glass of boiled water. "

"Sir, what really happened to me?" the patient asked him a little worried. 

"No problem anything, you just lack of dringking water." 

Recovery for a while

Patient: "Mr.Doctor, You are truly remarkable, only one word alone can cure my depression has-bowel disease over the years."

Psychiatrist: "Ah, the situation is not as simple as that, your depression could this all the time another recurrence."

Patient: "When is the recurrence ?"

Psychiatrist: "Usually by the time the patient has heard the charges that i will explain later."

Forgot Bring Pen When Exam

Time test, a student said to his teacher: "I forgot bring my pen."

Teacher said to be angry: "You really are outrageous. Consider your own thought, if a soldier did not carry guns on the battlefield, if it can still be called patriots?"

The student said: "It certainly is a General."

When is Crocodile Can Have Money

Another Animal Humour Story :

Little crocodile ask his Father: "Dad, Can i have money in the future?"

"Of course you can son." Replied Mr. crocodile

"When will I have money?" asked the little crocodile further.

"That is waiting for you has been processed into a wallet."

Army Testing Capabilities

Here it is another humour story, it's funny :D

A Navy admiral was walking on a warship.

Suddenly he saw a soldier who seems still new and doing picket duty.

Seeing the soldiers while the admiral intended to test the ability of the soldier to take action in the case of having an emergency,

he said to a soldier said: "Hi, boy!"

While removing his cap on the deck of the ship, he said: "If this is a bomb, how do you manage it and what action would you take?"

Having seen it for a while, soldiers did not say a word to immediately move forward and kick admiral cap that embroidered with gold into the ocean.

Dog barking not as usual

A dog that is usually calm start barking every night around 03:00. Irritated and sleepy, the dog owners look over the backyard to find out what might disturb the peace of this animal. 

For three days he did not find anything wrong. When the dog got up on the fourth night at 3 am, the dog barking, the owner finally sneaking around the house through the alley and found a neighbor threw pebbles at the dog. 

The owner asked to find out what he was doing. 

"My mother-in-law visit me," explained neighbor while shame. "If she wakes up in the middle of the night once again she said that she would go away ..."

Changing New Password

Another Adult Humour Story :

A husband and wife are trying to set a new password for their computer. 

The husband said, "Just type 'my sex tool'," 

The wife laughed out loud because on the computer screen says,

"Error.. Length is not enough."

The story of Tarzan and Jane

Here again.. Another Adult Humour Story :

One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. He is very attracted to him and during the questions about his life she asked him if he successful have sex.

"What's that?" he asked.

Jane explained to him what sex was and Tarzan said, "Oh, I used a hole in a tree trunk."

"Horrified ...", Jane said, "Tarzan, you did everything wrong. I will show you how to do it correctly."

She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground and opened her legs wide. "Here," he said, "you must put it in here."

Tarzan took off his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave him a hard kick, right in the crotch. Jane rolled around in pain.

Eventually he succeed get up and say, "What the hell did you do that ?!"

"Checking the bees!" said Tarzan.

Birthday Gifts for Rich Wife

Another Adult Humour Story :

There was a man talking to his friend, The man said, "I do not know what to give to my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, he was able to buy whatever he wants. So, I'm confused."

His friend said, "I have an idea. Why do not you create a certificate that says she can earn two hours of great sex, any way she wants. He may be happy!"

So the man did it. The next day his friend asked, "Well, did you take my advice? How is that?"

"She loved it. He jumps, say thank you, kiss my mouth, and ran out the door and yelling me, "I'll be back here in two hours".

(So that means the wife is having "fun" outside)

Deliver message to father

In the living room, Dad was talking accompany a guest, the child seems to have something to say.

Seeing this situation The Father said: "Ah, don't secretly, if there is something you want to talk, talk out loud!"

The boy finally said it out loud: "Mom told me to tell Dad, do not ask that guests staying lunch, because the rice runs out !!."

Can not Sleep Because of Debt Maturity

Another Funny Experience Humour Story :

In the Evening,

Michael roll over on the bed, roll to the right and to the left, he can not sleep, his wife asked him why, he said: "3 months ago I had borrowed 200 dollars to Jhonson across the street, tomorrow it's the time, but I do not have the money to pay it. 

"Just because of this you can not sleep huh?" The wife was very surprised. By arbitrarily out of bed, then opened the window, and shouted loudly several times facing the opposite direction of Jhonson's home : "Hi, Jhonson, Tomorrow my husband did not have the money to pay off your debt !!" 

Once finished speaking, he closed the window and said to her husband: "Well, now you must sleep in peace, next turn Jonson who could not sleep, hehehe......"